I’ve asked some of my favorite creative mamas to help out while I’m away with our new baby. Today, the talented Eva from Sycamore Street Press is sharing some thoughts on motherhood! And p.s. to any new or aspiring stationers out there: check out Eva’s new online class: Stationery Business 101! –Nole

5 Things That Surprised Me About Motherhood – Eva Jorgensen of Sycamore Street Press

1) It’s not always easy to get pregnant and have a baby.

Of course, I knew that things like infertility and miscarriages existed in the world… I just never thought they would happen to me. And then they did. And then I began to see that they happen to a lot of other people, too. Now I know, of course, that they are frightfully common. Yet they are still frustrating and heartbreaking every time.

It took me over 3 years to have Ingrid. During that time, I couldn’t talk about it. It felt too close – too personal. Once in a while, I might open up to a close friend or family member – or more likely – another woman who had struggled with something similar. I feel incredibly fortunate that I have my two children now. I think the wait made having them that much sweeter for me. But I know it could have been much worse. My heart goes out to everyone who is struggling with the desire to grow their family, but for whatever reason, is unable to.

2) Giving birth makes you a superhero.

Both times, giving birth has felt like an incredible athletic event to me – an extreme sport! (This article explains it so well.). Afterwards, I felt so proud of myself. And I felt in awe of all the millions of mothers who have gone before me and given birth to children of their own. I remember after I left the hospital with Ingrid, I looked at every mother I met with new eyes. I was in awe of them. I still am.

3) Feeding babies isn’t always as simple as it seems.

I’m the oldest of 4 children, and have worked as a nanny in the past, so I didn’t think I’d be in for much of a surprise when I took my first baby home from the hospital. And I especially didn’t think I’d have any surprises when I took my second baby home – after all, I’d gone through it before!

But you guessed it – both babies were full of surprises. Ingrid wasn’t thriving and didn’t get back to her birth weight for 6 weeks after she was born, despite all of our efforts and frequent visits to the pediatrician. It turns out she had a tongue tie – the kind that’s not easy to diagnose – and her mouth simply didn’t work the way it was supposed to. Once a lactation consultant figured it out for us, it was a simple fix. But I still feel so bad for baby Ingrid when I think back on that time.

Lars had the exact same tongue tie. We figured that out right away, of course. What we didn’t count on was that he would also be colicky, have acid reflux, and multiple food intolerances. We were grateful that he always seemed to gain weight just fine, but the poor little guy just cried and cried around the clock, no matter how hard I tried to comfort him. We eventually figured out ways to lessen his discomfort, but it was mainly a waiting game until he grew out of it. (And thankfully he did.)

4) Kids have a mind of their own (starting at a very young age).

Ingrid is 3 1/2 years old now. Since the age of 2, she’s been very opinionated about her own appearance. She insists on wearing “braided pigtails” every single day. She picks out her own outfits, shoes, and accessories every single day. She even gets upset if we can’t find the right coordinating pajama top and bottom. I get a kick out of it, but on the other hand, I’ll admit that I had visions of dressing my little girl up until junior high — ha! And Lars – at 15 months, he doesn’t talk much yet, but he is still very clear about his likes and dislikes. I know just which books, toys, and foods are his favorites.

It’s so fun to see their little personalities emerge.

5) As much as I love my career, I would give it up if I thought that was the best thing for our family.

Having a family was always a dream of mine. And I always knew that my life would revolve around family. However, I also love Sycamore Street Press and have put my heart and soul into it for 7 years now. I never thought that I would ever be willing to give it up. But now that I have these two beautiful little miracles in my life – I would do it. I would give up my career if that was in my family’s best interest.

Luckily, I don’t have to make that decision, though! Sycamore Street Press provides for our family. It allows my husband, Kirk, and I work together, from home, and on a flexible schedule. It’s a blessing in our lives. (So don’t worry about it going away anytime soon, ha ha.)

Photo Credits: Jessica Peterson

I’ve asked some of my favorite creative mamas to help out while I’m away with our new baby. Today, one of my favorite stationers – and mama of two boys! – Lisa from Good on Paper is sharing some thoughts about motherhood! –Nole

Hi guys! While Nole is out on maternity leave, she asked me to share something I love or found surprising about motherhood. Since Nole is soon to be a mother of two, I thought I would share a few stories and tips about being “Mama” to my two boys, (Lucas, 4, and Theo, 2), and in particular, preparing the older sibling for the newest member of the family. – Lisa from Good on Paper

One thing that surprised me about motherhood was how much emotional energy is involved (in addition to the physical demands of chasing two boys around). From the fun and silly moments to the complete meltdowns for no apparent reason, motherhood has been rewarding, but exhausting. There are so many good days and a fair number of not-so-good, but I try to remember that the difficult phases will pass. Rather than focus on the negative, I’ve found that the important thing is to cherish every moment, take lots of pictures, and write down all those delightful toddler phrases and “preschooler-isms” for posterity. (Lucas recently observed, after sending a Hot Wheel car off a ramp, “Whoa! That one was extra does it!”)

A few things that worked for us to prepare Lucas for Baby Theo:

1. Refer to the baby-to-be as “your baby brother/sister,” rather than “my baby” or “our (the parents’) baby.” This seemed to resonate with Lucas, and he felt very special and proud to be such an important figure  in Theo’s life.

2. Invest in some “older sibling primer” books.  I bought three books for Lucas about being a big brother, and his favorite by far was “I’m a New Big Brother” by Nora Gaydos.  The illustrations in particular seemed to help him understand what to expect from his new baby brother, and how he could help Mama and Daddy out in this new family adventure.

3. Get a “trainer baby.”  I bought Lucas this adorable baby brother doll that (as far as we knew) might resemble the real baby Theo. Lucas carried him around gently (only occasionally tossing him across the floor), and always referred to him as “baby brother.”

4.     Buy the older kid a “birth-day” present.  At the hospital, we made it a point to get a gift for Lucas that was “from his baby brother.” We got him a new backpack, a book, and a toy fire engine. To this day, he remembers that Theo gave him those things.

Now that Theo has been around for a couple of years, I’ve also learned a few things that have helped our boys start their lifelong friendship on a positive note. So far so good.

1. Make the older kid feel extra special. We give lots of praise to Lucas for being a great helper, a kind and sweet big brother, and a teacher to his little brother. Theo copies everything Lucas does. And I mean everything, both good and bad. Lucas hides in the laundry hamper; Theo does, too. Lucas takes off his shirt; Theo does, too. Lucas holds hands; Theo does, too. Lucas throws sand; Theo does, too. We are always telling Lucas how much Theo loves him, appreciates him, and wants to do everything just like him. I think, for the most part, this builds Lucas’ self-esteem and encourages more good behavior than bad. Lucas always wants to hold his brother’s hand and take care of him when we leave the house, which has been incredibly sweet to watch.

2. Make one-on-one time with each kid. My husband Nick and I like to use the “divide and conquer” parenting tactic on a regular basis. We do a lot of things as a family, but we also find that taking one-on-one adventures is rewarding in its own way. I’ll take Lucas to swim lessons, breakfast, play dates, etc., while Nick stays home with Theo during his nap (aka “nap jail”), then takes him to the park or on a hike. I realized just how much these one-on-one dates mean to Lucas when he said in the car one day, “Mama, I really like it when we do things just me and you. No one else. Just me and you.”

3. Reward good behavior. Whenever I see the boys playing nicely together, I make sure to give them lots of praise. One of the best toddler books I’ve read is “The Happiest Toddler on the Block” by Harvey Karp, M.D. The methods in this book worked well with both kids, and it has been a life saver. One little trick I’ve  learned is “gossiping,” i.e. praising a child’s behavior to a third party, within earshot of the child, but pretending you don’t want the child to hear. It’s a fun little game, and it seems to make the praise more effective. For example, I’ll say to my husband (in an audible whisper):  “Hey Nick, look how sweet Lucas is, holding Theo’s hand and making sure he gets down the stairs safely. I love that!” Or, “Hey Nick, I loved seeing Lucas and Theo taking turns with their toys today. It made me feel so happy.” Or, “Did you see how Theo gave Lucas his car when he was done with it? He probably learned that from Lucas!”

It’s been such a treat for me to watch my two boys interact and grow together.  Of course, they don’t always agree on things (especially whose turn it is with the cool new toy), but I love how proud Lucas is of his baby brother; how he always says Theo is the cutest baby brother in the whole world;  how he introduces all of his friends to his baby brother;  how he holds his hand, kisses him, and pats his head; and how he teaches him to say new words (good, bad, and invented).  I honestly didn’t know what to expect when Theo was born, but I couldn’t be happier about the great big brother Lucas has become.